Saturday 26 September 2015

To say Yes or not to say Yes

"Our language has wisely sensed the two sides of being alone. It has created the word loneliness to express the pain of being alone. And it has created the word solitude to express the glory of being alone." - Paul Tillich.

Best way to start a post when you cant get a good start. There is a difference between solitude and being alone but we tend to look at it through the same lens. The choice of being on your own for the rest of your life or being single or not getting married is a choice that we make intentionally. 

But the choices made by both the genders are perceived differently by the society for Men it is from the perspective of raising a family to take forward the legacy, when it comes to a woman it is about the fear of being alone. What will sharma aunty think or what will the 4 log think, it is about a tag carrying someone's surname with you. 

These days more than a girls parent's the neighbors and relatives are worried when will she settle down. It's a funny society we live in where you are expected to know someone in 2 or 3 meetings and get hooked for lifetime, but you can't settle down with someone whom you choose. We have become so analytical that we are constantly analyzing our relationships, the more practical we have become the less we give a shit to what our heart says.

The AIB video on Indian weddings surely states the factual situation of our Indian society -
      
That's how it works, trolled for life :P   No marriages are not that bad but everything has it's good, bad & ugly. How do u know that the person you just met is the "one" actually we don't. we don't even know whether the person we are with right now is the one or not. It's about settling down whether it's X or Y.

But what if one does not want to? It should be a choice finding the right idiot is a task. Not every guy in the world is comfortable with the Feminist side. We say we are evolved or our society is or men have changed, actually not it's barely 1% that have adapted to the changes.

Cooking is still what is expected of a Woman and Earning is what is still expected from a Man. The roles are so pre-decided that it's like a conditioning from years. And someone who tries to break-free of this pattern may appear as mad or weird. When i saw my closed ones or friends settling down it hit me, but than you don't want to end up doing something that the world feels is right and not you.

It's not about that it is time to, and it's not about because everyone else is but it should be because you want to. Get married change your name leave everything behind, your carrier, your identity but what does that lead a girl to?

Will a guy be happy if a girl does not want to hyphenate or stick to the identity that she is been holding since she was a kid? It's about companionship finding the right mix, finding a Man who would accept the strong opinionated feminist bitch for what she is, don't marry because you don't want to be left alone, or for those so called man-chores.  

Sometimes being your own hero is by choice and not by situation :) 

Your task is not to seek for love, but merely to seek and find all the barriers within yourself that you have built against it.